This Stays Between Us

In this post-Eid episode, I will read out the poems written by the two winners of last year's creative writing competition - Janki Shah (@wordbyjanki) and C.Louise (@hersoftspokensoul). The theme of the competition was secrets. One line in particular stuck out to me by C.Louise: 'secrets make a prison out of our own skin'. It made me think of the many secrets we keep, and how it eats us on the inside. Janki Shah writes about an eternal knowing we have - how even when the earth forgets our names, we remember what is calling us back. 
 
If you would like to get involved, feel free to DM me your poetry (@this_st4ys_between_us). I would love to feature your work on my podcast! 
 
Till then,
 
Salaam, your host, Z.K
 
Opinions shared by the guests and hosts of this show are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Be the change. Media Network.

Dear listener, when you feel a yearning in your heart. Ask. 
 
Ask the One who created you.
 
He will not let you down.
 
In this episode, I dive into a time where I made dua for good friendship. At the time, a major friendship had ended and left a hole inside me, a hole that I filled with dua. I explore how sometimes, I felt that I did not deserve to ask for good friendships. I felt ashamed for asking for something uniquely beautiful that I was also deserving of. 
 
Was it self-esteem? Was it feeling low? Was it this sense that I was asking for more, and I was used to the word 'no'? It was a combination of these things. But through making dua, I learned to let go of shame and was gifted with an answer from Allah far better than I could imagine. A subtle reply, but one I hold dearly to my chest, and would like to talk about with you.
 
Opinions shared by the guests and hosts of this show are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Be the change. Media Network.

Picture this. You’ve moved out. You miss the comfort of your mother’s arms. You miss seeing your siblings tease you and laugh. You miss the warmth of your dad when he sits at the dining table, and asks you how your day is.Suddenly life has changed. You are living in a place where you should hear the sound of your mother’s laugh bouncing off the walls but all you can hear is your belly rumble and the cry of rain pouring from the sky.
This new place. This city. It has left a pit of emptiness in your belly. And your body? It yearns for home.
 
This was me in January 2025. I had two choices. To sit with the emptiness inside me 
... or to turn to the One who would heal it. 
 
For this episode, I will tell you a story of how I found inner strength and peace through reading Surah Baqarah. I’ve made it an accessible episode especially if you are non-Muslim by breaking down key terms, what they mean, and how I connect with my faith.(if you've come from LinkedIn, yes, this is the one episode that features blueberries, giant London escalators and deep realisations about ibadah and tawakkul)
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Opinions shared by the guests and hosts of this show are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Be the change. Media Network.

Is there a novel that you've been wanting to write? A poetry collection hiding at the back of your OneDrive? A protest speech that you just don't think is good enough but rehearse when no-one's watching you? 
 
In Episode 2 of Season 2: Go Global, we dive into a deep conversation with Ayman Sabir, who will make you rethink your decision to hide your writer-self away. Because if you don't write, how will you express yourself? How will you communicate your feelings to the world and connect on a global level? 
 
Ayman Sabir is not only a writer, but also is a poet and the founder of her very own literary magazine, called Samajh My Gal, centred on uplifting South Asian voices for Gen Z and providing us with a literary space to be loud and creative. 
 
So what are you waiting for? Pick up the pen, babe!
 
Opinions shared by the guests and hosts of this show are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Be the change. Media Network.

Content warning: this episode mentions abuse, violence, torture and sexual assault in the context of the experiences of Sudanese people during the war. 
 
Welcome to episode 1 of a new chapter in my podcast: 'This Stays Between Us'. This series is called Go Global. Today we will be learning about Sudan and bearing witness to the pain, the suffering and the resilience that blooms in Sudan despite the ongoing violence that erupted since April 15th, 2023. I will talk about what is currently happening in Sudan, the impact of historical colonialism, and I will also go into detail about four fascinating and brave women with stories that you need to listen to: 
 
1) Fatima  - a mother who had to be separated from her children due to not having a foreign passport
2) Kawther - a mother who underwent a dangerous journey to protect her thirteen-year old son from the RSF army 
3) Imaan - an amputee with such strong imaan, that despite the horrors she has faced, she still continues to cares for others
4) Lubna's story - a Sudanese university student, just like you and me- but wait till you hear how she transformed her pain into purpose and created a kindergarten for the children who were unable to go to school.
 
To end, I will share with you how, this 2026, I'm also taking the Falkirk Abseiling Challenge to raise money for Sudan through Islamic Relief. The fundraiser link can be found in my instagram bio at @this_st4ys_between_us. 
 
If you are able to, please donate. 
If not, please support this episode by following, leaving a review and sharing the knowledge with your friends and family.
As always, keep Sudan in your prayers and alive in your conversations. 
 
Salaam, your host, Z.K.
 
Opinions shared by the guests and hosts of this show are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Be the change. Media Network.

To wrap up 2025, I will tell you a winter love story featuring two people. 
The girl who held a date between her fingers, and the boy who stared at her in wonder.
The girl who choked on her Arabic, and the boy who picked up each word. 
The girl who couldn't make eye contact, and the boy whose eyes seemed to swallow her every move.
 
The minutes pass, and a year does too. 
He has forgotten this moment. 
But she remembers everything through and through.
 
That's right. This is 'what do I know about love, part two.'
 
 
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Opinions shared by the guests and hosts of this show are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Be the change. Media Network.

My generation thinks that love is a YA novel. That love is Draco and Hermione making eyes at each other. That love is the chocolate boxes, the bouquet of roses, and the candle lit dinners. And yes, maybe all of those contain an element of love. But what about the love that our parents have for us?
Why don't we ever consider that in our grand definition of love?
In the seventh episode of 'This Stays Between Us', I take you on a trip back to Year 13, but this story is not about me. Rather, it is about the woman who held my hand the entire time - my mother. Or as I call her, Mamuni. 
This is a story of a mother who sacrificed her dreams, and a daughter who promised to carry them. But what happens when the dream falls apart? Will they still love each other then? 
Sit tight, this one is for all the eldest daughters. The people-pleaser kids. And the mums who need to hear how much we love you. Because we do. We know nothing except the kindness that flows from you like a river. 
To the Ammus, Mamas, Ummis, Muttis and Mamans in the world, 
This one's for you.
 
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Opinions shared by the guests and hosts of this show are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Be the change. Media Network.

Being the only brown girl and hijabi at school was never going to be easy - except it became one of my biggest battles in my self-worth journey. From being bullied over my skin colour to finally seeing my worth, this has been a tough ride through which I hope to share some key learnings that helped me along the way. Get ready my friend, episode 6 is going to be a deep one.
 
Things you will need: a quiet space, a notebook, a pen, maybe some bubble tea :)
 
Things we will let go of together: worrying about what people think, negative self-talk and limiting beliefs.
 
Throughout this piece, I have inserted quiet moments where you can use the journaling prompts to reflect on your own childhood experiences and how they have shaped you as an adult. What I hope to give you is an opportunity to make a promise to yourself and have an appreciation of how far you've come.
 
Trigger warning: I go into depth about the emotional impact of experiencing racism and Islamophobia at a young age. If this makes you feel uncomfortable, then perhaps this is not the episode for you. 
 
Resource round-up: 
1) Islamophobia Awareness Month - https://www.islamophobia-awareness.org/resources/
2) Young Minds - https://www.youngminds.org.uk/young-person/coping-with-life/islamophobia-and-mental-health/
3) Show Racism the Red Card - https://www.theredcard.org/
4) Stop Hate UK - https://www.stophateuk.org/
 
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As a thank you to everyone for all the support you've given me with my podcasting journey, I wanted to give you a bonus episode which is called: 15 Qs to get to know your podcaster a bit better (that is one mouthful of a title AHAH)!
In this episode, I asked Chat GPT to come up with 15 questions and my, it came up with some deeply philosophical ones! From exploring my relationship with books to how I've learned to accept myself as a soft-spoken woman with stories to tell, this is definitely one to sink your teeth into and perhaps, in the process, you may learn things about yourself too.
Bismillah <3.
 
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In Episode 4 of my podcast, I will be exploring the break-up that no-one really talks about - the death of a friendship. I know! We should talk about this more! But don't worry, your big sister on the internet is here to talk about this huge topic and (hopefully!) make it easier to come to terms with.
I’m sure you’ll agree with me that some friendships are like a second skin, a shadow that haunts you even when they end.  You’ll notice the remnants of that other person in the way you see yourself, the way you laugh, the way you find yourself walking to uni, and even in something small like the way you like to wear your kohl. But what do these lingering memories mean and what do you do with them?
In this episode, I will explore the ache of a friendship that felt like home and the quiet heartbreak of letting them go. When I Wear Kohl, I Think of You is a reflection on loss, love, and the tender art of making peace with what won’t ever be the same again. So grab your matcha, your chai latte and your notebook - let’s dive in!
 
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